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I Want To Be A Liberal
I want to be a liberal, because then everyone will like me. My family will start talking to me again, and chances are, my ex-husband will want to renew the marriage vows he broke when I started spouting conservative opinions.
I'd like to be a liberal because its ever so much easier to allow others to form my opinions for me instead of researching an issue myself. That always gets me in trouble, especially when the facts I discover diverge from the latest politically correct consensus.
I'd like to be a liberal because then I'd be rewarded for all my shortcomings and nothing would ever be my fault. I'd be an important cog in the wheel of social justice, and a cherished warrior in the current fight for equality.
If I were a liberal, I would be free to have sex whenever and with whomever I want - and be considered 'empowered' to boot. I could abort any inconvenience with nary a thought because my rights to my body trump the life I would have suctioned out of me.
I'd like to be a liberal because any guilt I would normally feel for what used to be considered deviant, irresponsible behavior may be assuaged by merely advocating the expenditure of other people's money on whatever the cause du jour is. Very cool. Especially since my stock portfolio has been pretty much decimated.
I want to be a liberal because they care so much. They have a lock on all the fashionable emotions, like tolerance, diversity, equality and patriotism. And as long as my intentions are pure and I 'care', I won't have to accept responsibility for any negative consequences that my actions might cause.
I'd like to be a liberal because everyone knows that conservatives are racist, homophobic, stupid and, well, beneath contempt. Conservatives are motivated by gasp, profit, instead of being nice. Enough said.
I'd like to be a liberal because I'd be able to redefine reality to my own specifications. I could turn failure into success, murder into choice, lies into 'misstatements', and theft into investment. I would automatically be considered wise, instead of opinionated. Best of all, I could make up the rules as I go along, change them in midstream and then demonize anyone who doesn't agree with me.
I want to be a liberal because everyone knows they hold the moral high ground. They don't lie, cheat or steal. Oh, and they don't condone torture. The media says so, so it must be true.
Before I am able to join this community of man, however, there are a few ground rules:
I have to acknowledge that government is the best and only solution for any problems America has. Despite the fact that pretty much every government solution to date has been a disaster.
I must agree that America is bad and white Christian males are responsible for all that is wrong with the world. Further, I must agree that terrorists and third world dictators are either freedom fighters or misunderstood men of good will. Oh, and I must acknowledge that dialogue is better than war. Even though decades of dialogue haven't worked, things are different, now that Obama is president. I must have faith. After all, the times, they are a changin'.
I'd, of course, be expected to not only condone, but happily embrace gay marriage and the long list of newly minted sexual behaviors, and swear to never mention the adverse health risks or the proven harm they do to traditional families.
I'd also have to quit judging people (except for conservatives). After all, liberals will allow me to do whatever I want, free from moral censure, and its only fair I do the same for them.
I'd have to immediately quit smoking, in public at least. I'd be required to agree that global warming is real and man is the cause. Even though the earth has cooled in the last decade, everyone knows its still getting warmer. I'd also have to renounce Christianity in favor of Mother Earth and believe that the Constitution is a 'living instrument'.
I'd have to agree that victimhood trumps merit and that liberals know best. Always. And lastly, I'd have to support the notion that racism is still rampant, even if it is the silent 'institutional' type.
In return, I'll be accepted, popular, and invited to the best parties. I'll be eligible for the right to housing, health care, a living wage (even if I don't work) and happiness. And as long as I remain a liberal, no-one is allowed to insult me. How cool is that?
I'll finally get my columns published in my own hometown paper and will have a good chance of getting face time on MSNBC. Best of all, I'll be able to atone for my sins by merely paying Algore for a few carbon credits. Then, I will live happily ever after. Isn't that worth sacrificing such ethereal and frivolous notions like freedom, individualism and principles?
Article originally published in American Thinker, May 19, 2009
I'd like to be a liberal because its ever so much easier to allow others to form my opinions for me instead of researching an issue myself. That always gets me in trouble, especially when the facts I discover diverge from the latest politically correct consensus.
I'd like to be a liberal because then I'd be rewarded for all my shortcomings and nothing would ever be my fault. I'd be an important cog in the wheel of social justice, and a cherished warrior in the current fight for equality.
If I were a liberal, I would be free to have sex whenever and with whomever I want - and be considered 'empowered' to boot. I could abort any inconvenience with nary a thought because my rights to my body trump the life I would have suctioned out of me.
I'd like to be a liberal because any guilt I would normally feel for what used to be considered deviant, irresponsible behavior may be assuaged by merely advocating the expenditure of other people's money on whatever the cause du jour is. Very cool. Especially since my stock portfolio has been pretty much decimated.
I want to be a liberal because they care so much. They have a lock on all the fashionable emotions, like tolerance, diversity, equality and patriotism. And as long as my intentions are pure and I 'care', I won't have to accept responsibility for any negative consequences that my actions might cause.
I'd like to be a liberal because everyone knows that conservatives are racist, homophobic, stupid and, well, beneath contempt. Conservatives are motivated by gasp, profit, instead of being nice. Enough said.
I'd like to be a liberal because I'd be able to redefine reality to my own specifications. I could turn failure into success, murder into choice, lies into 'misstatements', and theft into investment. I would automatically be considered wise, instead of opinionated. Best of all, I could make up the rules as I go along, change them in midstream and then demonize anyone who doesn't agree with me.
I want to be a liberal because everyone knows they hold the moral high ground. They don't lie, cheat or steal. Oh, and they don't condone torture. The media says so, so it must be true.
Before I am able to join this community of man, however, there are a few ground rules:
I have to acknowledge that government is the best and only solution for any problems America has. Despite the fact that pretty much every government solution to date has been a disaster.
I must agree that America is bad and white Christian males are responsible for all that is wrong with the world. Further, I must agree that terrorists and third world dictators are either freedom fighters or misunderstood men of good will. Oh, and I must acknowledge that dialogue is better than war. Even though decades of dialogue haven't worked, things are different, now that Obama is president. I must have faith. After all, the times, they are a changin'.
I'd, of course, be expected to not only condone, but happily embrace gay marriage and the long list of newly minted sexual behaviors, and swear to never mention the adverse health risks or the proven harm they do to traditional families.
I'd also have to quit judging people (except for conservatives). After all, liberals will allow me to do whatever I want, free from moral censure, and its only fair I do the same for them.
I'd have to immediately quit smoking, in public at least. I'd be required to agree that global warming is real and man is the cause. Even though the earth has cooled in the last decade, everyone knows its still getting warmer. I'd also have to renounce Christianity in favor of Mother Earth and believe that the Constitution is a 'living instrument'.
I'd have to agree that victimhood trumps merit and that liberals know best. Always. And lastly, I'd have to support the notion that racism is still rampant, even if it is the silent 'institutional' type.
In return, I'll be accepted, popular, and invited to the best parties. I'll be eligible for the right to housing, health care, a living wage (even if I don't work) and happiness. And as long as I remain a liberal, no-one is allowed to insult me. How cool is that?
I'll finally get my columns published in my own hometown paper and will have a good chance of getting face time on MSNBC. Best of all, I'll be able to atone for my sins by merely paying Algore for a few carbon credits. Then, I will live happily ever after. Isn't that worth sacrificing such ethereal and frivolous notions like freedom, individualism and principles?
Article originally published in American Thinker, May 19, 2009
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Gail Hitchcok on -
Thank's, I shared this with some hard headed libs...hehe!
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Permalink Reply by John Gibson White on -
I hope you haven't confused anybody.....LOL......Give me liberty or give me death..........very good post young lady and he didn't deserve you any way.
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Permalink Reply by SandyLee on -
This is fabulous!! Shared this in my FB profile and on my FB discussion forum. Thanks for posting this!
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Permalink Reply by licksgotya on -
My Heroine...
Love Al, Nancy, Hiliary, and the Big guy himself Obamassiah
P.S. You were wayy too good for that guy...there is a real man out there with your name on his heart...
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Permalink Reply by Justiceman on -
Me too, oh joy, now I have at my finger tips every social program I can grab, I can get my house payed for, free food, pretty little card I get to use on the first of the month, best part, get this, my daughters can quit that awful school thing, when they want, mind you, cause I don't decide for them now, got my sugar daddy Obamessiah to assist me now, cradle to grave. This is awesome, I am gonna quit thinking now, so liberating, free of thought, concern, guilt, religion, responsibility, and on and on, oh bring on the Honey and biscuits, it don't get any sweeter than this. I'm free, I'm free.....of course you're all broke, sorry, I just want to be liberal too.
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Permalink Reply by Justiceman on
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Actually the consevatives make up nearly 83% of donated monies to feed the afflicted, the homeless, and destitute. But you wouldn't know that though being as your to busy enjoying the benefits of a democracy in action, but I agree, we shouldn't impose our ideology on anyone, I say let them all starve, die under the heavy hand of a dictatorship and feed their damn selves, we have enough of you weak ass libretards sucking the life out of us who do help through taxes feed , clothe, house you lazy ass bunch of couch sloths. I have a suggestion , MOVE to one of those third world countries you b**** about us helping or "imposing" our democracy on. See how long they let you keep that over inflated head of yours. Stupid ass libretard. Also park that car genius, see how long it takes to get to the job or campus, since we shouldn't consume oil, just flowers and daisies in your statist world.
Rick Fuller said:I'm glad that I'm a conservative and I endorse my government imposing 'democracy' on every other nation through war.
I'm glad that I'm a conservative, so that I can keep as much of my tax money as possible without it going to help the sick, the infirmed, and the needy. (I'll simply ignore God's request that I help the sick, the infirmed, and the needy as stated in Proverbs 19:17). God will love me just the same and let me into Heaven even though I'm ignoring His wishes.
I'm glad that I am a conservative to impose my moral authority on other sinners - especially gay people - while I enjoy lobster, mussels, clams, and shrimp and wear mixed clothing of linens and wool against what it says in the Bible. After all, being gay is a worse sin than eating lobster - all sins can't be equal, right?
I'm glad that as a conservative, I have media titans like Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'Reilly to go after those Libruls even though my conservative media heroes promote hate and ignorance and tell half-truths to me. I especially like the fact that Bill O'Reilly's "American Patriot" t-shirts that he sells from his web store are made in Central America and not the United States of America. I like that fact that Mr. O'Reilly uses cheap labor to keep the costs down of those splendid t-shirts. How Patriotic American and conservative is that to keep prices low?
I'm glad that I'm a conservative so that I can rail against stem cell research even though said stem cells are only clusters of cells without anyway to breathe or have a heartbeat, and I can rally against abortion, even for girls and women who are victims of rape or incest. I can't stand it when Libruls advocate "few and rare abortions." Killing is killing.
I'm glad to be a conservative so that I can be a gun owner and exercise my 2nd Amendment right. I just hope I don't accidentally let my gun go off and shoot a friend in the face as was the case for my former Vice-President. Guns don't hurt and maim people, people hurt and maim people!
I'm glad that I'm a conservative and wait for the next election to the return of the George W. Bush years. God spoke to 'W' you know and God told my former President to invade Iraq. Because of those pesky Libruls, George and D*** had to impose harsh interrogation techniques on those Muslim terrorists in order to MAKE those DIRTY MUSLIM TERRORISTS tell our government there was a connection between 9/11 and Saddam Huessein - even though it was NOT true and our former Vice-President now admits to that. I don't care that it cost us U.S. taxpayers $8 billion dollars to fight a war for oil. After all, that IS OUR oil! WE need THAT OIL in order to get to work every day!
...AND how dare a MUSLIM impose his religion on me! It's not like us Christians impose our religious beliefs on others, right? Oh wait! We do! Never mind.
I'm glad that I'm a conservative Christian and believe that my country was founded on these principles, even though "Founding Fathers" George Washington, Thomas Paine, John Adams, Ethan Allen, and Benjamin Franklin were ALL Deists or Unitarians. Additionally it doesn't matter to me that it was during Adam's (our 2nd President) administration that the Senate ratified the Treaty of Peace and Friendship, which states in Article XI that "the government of the United States of America is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion." The only thing that matters is that I BELIEVE my wonderful country is based on The Christian Religion and its principles.
Finally, in summation, I'm glad that through Jesus Christ, my sins are washed away even though I ignore God's word on daily basis by eating shellfish, and combining different types of clothing materials, and planting my farm with different types of seeds, and I get to keep nearly all of my hard-earned money to myself and I don't help the sick and infirmed and the needy while instilling Christian principles and selective Bible verses into my children so that they can grow up blessed conservative just like me!
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Permalink Reply by Teri's Pride on -
Lou Pritchett is one of corporate America 's true living legends- an acclaimed author, dynamic teacher and one of the world's highest rated speakers. Successful corporate executives everywhere recognize him as the foremost leader in change management. Lou changed the way America does business by creating an audacious concept that came to be known as "partnering." Pritchett rose from soap salesman to Vice-President, Sales and Customer Development for Procter and Gamble and over the course of 36 years, made corporate history.
AN OPEN LETTER TO PRESIDENT OBAMA
Dear President Obama:
You are the thirteenth President under whom I have lived and unlike any of the others, you truly scare me.
You scare me because after months of exposure, I know nothing about you.
You scare me because I do not know how you paid for your expensive Ivy League education and your upscale lifestyle and housing with no visible signs of support.
You scare me because you did not spend the formative years of youth growing up in America and culturally you are not an American.
You scare me because you have never run a company or met a payroll.
You scare me because you have never had military experience, thus don't understand it at its core.
You scare me because you lack humility and 'class', always blaming others.
You scare me because for over half your life you have aligned yourself with radical extremists who hate America and you refuse to publicly denounce these radicals who wish to see America fail.
You scare me because you are a cheerleader for the 'blame America ' crowd and deliver this message abroad.
You scare me because you want to change America to a European style country where the government sector dominates instead of the private sector.
You scare me because you want to replace our health care system with a government controlled one.
You scare me because you prefer 'wind mills' to responsibly capitalizing on our own vast oil, coal and shale reserves.
You scare me because you want to kill the American capitalist goose that lays the golden egg which provides the highest standard of living in the world.
You scare me because you have begun to use 'extortion' tactics against certain banks and corporations.
You scare me because your own political party shrinks from challenging you on your wild and irresponsible spending proposals.
You scare me because you will not openly listen to or even consider opposing points of view from intelligent people.
You scare me because you falsely believe that you are both omnipotent and omniscient.
You scare me because the media gives you a free pass on everything you do.
You scare me because you demonize and want to silence the Limbaughs, Hannitys, O'Relllys and Becks who offer opposing, conservative points of view.
You scare me because you prefer controlling over governing.
Finally, you scare me because if you serve a second term I will probably not feel safe in writing a similar letter in 8 years.
Lou Pritchett
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Permalink Reply by Teri's Pride on
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Hummmm. Never seen it before. Of course anything is possible with his highness! Right?
Rick Fuller said:Teri's Pride said:Lou Pritchett is one of corporate America 's true living legends- an acclaimed author, dynamic teacher and one of the world's highest rated speakers. Successful corporate executives everywhere recognize him as the foremost leader in change management. Lou changed the way America does business by creating an audacious concept that came to be known as "partnering." Pritchett rose from soap salesman to Vice-President, Sales and Customer Development for Procter and Gamble and over the course of 36 years, made corporate history.
Rick Fuller writes:
If I am not mistaken, this is an "email" that has been circulating since Barack Obama was elected in November 2008. I think only the name has changed.
In fact, factcheck.org verifies that this email circulates with changing names. I think this is a Librul conspiracy to make us conservatives look bad by recycling the same email with different names supposedly attached to it.
Boy those Libruls are wily!
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Permalink Reply by Teri's Pride on
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Lets not forget "He be da Man! Gotsa a limo now, a big fancy jet and a really big party house loaded with cocaine! LOL. How else would he overcome jet lag to all his brothers in the mid east? Why, he even gots some body guards, and guess what, they carry guns...hummm somthin wrong with that picture!
Rick Fuller said:Teri's Pride said:Hummmm. Never seen it before. Of course anything is possible with his highness! Right?
Rick Fuller writes:
I'd think he is too busy getting burgers for his staff to "control" emails. - nice gesture he made for his staff though. It would be adventageous for us conservatives to check sources and to cite sources when we post; else the Libruls would be saying: See? Conservatives are sheeple - they believe everything they read and repeat it as the gospel and then make a sheep sound and laugh at us.
I think all of us would strengthen ours posts if we cited sources; else Libruls can simply say: opinion.
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Permalink Reply by Nancy Morgan on
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I thought it was only liberals that attacked the messenger and let name calling replace legitimate discussion
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Permalink Reply by Jacob Tyler on -
Hey Rick, why are you here? Don't you have some other place where your particular brand of insanity is accepted and approved of? This is a place for conservatives to discuss their concerns with other conservatives. You say you have a college degree which would suggest some modicum of rationality or intelligence, but your postings here are nothing more than the liberal song and dance we all know by heart. (Albeit with a little more sarcasm.)
Know this, Mr. Fuller: You will not change our minds. You will not dilute our resolve. You will not silence our voices. No matter how low you stoop, or how far you go, you will not corrupt us with liberalism.
You see, we have worked hard to make this country what it is. We have given, given and given more to our government only to watch them squander it every time. You want to talk about $8 Billion spent to liberate a country from the grip of a tyranical leader who even gassed his own countrymen (women and children too), but you conveniently forget that Obama spent 100 times that much in the first month of his Presidency. And he was just getting warmed up. As far as I can see, the only jobs he created so far are foreign abortion doctors who can now get rich and retire off my hard-earned money, all while performing murder for hire. Well, I certainly am glad that doesn't bother you as much as liberating good people from tyrants.
You libs suffer from a serious hypocrisy problem. You say "Cheney is the Devil! He blew up Iraq so Haliburton could get rich rebuilding it!" Well what do you say to GE getting all the work that's coming up from the nationalization of our health care system? You do know that MSNBC, who are clearly liberal in their coverage, is owned by GE, right? You do see that they are getting kick-backs straight from the Obama administration for all their support during the election? Hmmm, sounds like the exact same type of corruption to me. You scratch my back (get me elected) and I'll scratch yours (give you the work I create).
My lib friends accuse me of being selfish because I don't want to pay for the healthcare of others. I think that's a little odd considering their support for aborting babies that women simply don't want (not rape or incest pregnancies mind you, just the "Ooops. Hehe, I got pregnant again! Oh well, call up the doc and he'll suck it out."). I submit that killing an innocent baby just so that you won't have to face the responsibility of your own actions is the ultimate in selfishness. More hypocrisy from the left.
Why do I get the feeling that none of this makes a dent in your liberal armor? Oh, that's right! You won't change you mind any more than we will. So, please, save your liberal propaganda for your liberal friends and we'll keep our conservative ideas on our conservative websites. Deal?
Rick Fuller said:Justiceman said:Actually the consevatives make up nearly 83% of donated monies to feed the afflicted, the homeless, and destitute. But you wouldn't know that though being as your to busy enjoying the benefits of a democracy in action, but I agree, we shouldn't impose our ideology on anyone, I say let them all starve, die under the heavy hand of a dictatorship and feed their damn selves, we have enough of you weak ass libretards sucking the life out of us who do help through taxes feed , clothe, house you lazy ass bunch of couch sloths. I have a suggestion , MOVE to one of those third world countries you b**** about us helping or "imposing" our democracy on. See how long they let you keep that over inflated head of yours. Stupid ass libretard. Also park that car genius, see how long it takes to get to the job or campus, since we shouldn't consume oil, just flowers and daisies in your statist world. Rick Fuller said:
I know that a lot of us conservatives help the needy - eighty three percent, impressive. Do you have a source for that figure? I think those rotten Libruls actually give more to charity. As you know, or as you should know charity relief isn't enough to help the poor and infirmed. I also note that you completely ignored the directive from the Bible in Proverbs that I cited in which God commands us to help the needy and infirmed.
California already has hydrogen fueled cars on it's highways - experimental, but working and viable. I know it's difficult for us conservatives to think out of the box and quit suckling off of the liquid dinosaur teet, but our Country would be a lot better if when we do get off of oil and have nothing to do with the muddle east.
...but some conservatives, such as yourself, would prefer that we continue our dysfunctional relationship with those that hate us. After all, it was 19 Saudi's that hijacked planes on 9/11, yet a lot of us conservatives still get our oil from Saudi Arabia.
And speaking of hate - one would think you were a librul with all of that hate in your post. ***Sheeeesh***
/div>
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Permalink Reply by jim harris on
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Lets be real, if you are conservative you are liberal, you believe you have the GOD given right to be free!!!
you have the right to the wealth you earn!!! you have the right to say what you feel at any time without
back lash from anyone!!!! you have the right to move about with out hindrance in any way!!!! you can go to any church you want to!!! as long as my actions do not harm anyone else I should be allowed to do as I wish!!! you believe in fiscal responsibility!!!! you believe in the right to life!!!!!
LETS NOT FORGET LIBERALS TODAY ARE NOT LIBERAL WITH YOUR LIFE, it's about setting limits on your
life!!! it's about taking your money and giving it to someone else!!!!! it's about telling you you can't say that!!!
it's about telling you you can;t do that!!!!! it's about telling you can't believe that!!!!! it's about telling you can't
protect yourself!!!!
So who;s really the liberal one:)
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